Alright, so I called the Weird Girl back and set up a Starbucks meeting. You know, I’m not being fair – I only called her weird in my last report because at the club she called herself Ariel and kept saying she was a mermaid, earning the nickname. Actually, her name is Charlotte and she was drunk then.

I tell Charlotte to meet me at Starbucks, and to wear something sexy. I’ve got this down to a reliable formula now – Starbucks is awesome since it’s about five minutes from my pad, and I’m working on the wireless internet anyway so it doesn’t matter if I get a no-show. You know, so that seduction science keeps taking names and kickin’ ass.

When I glance out the window and… wow. Let me tell you exactly what this girl was wearing… Let me get one thing straight first. This chick is not exactly the most beautiful girl. I’m being honest here. Yeah, she’s blonde. I like that. She’s a gringa. I like that too. But I didn’t remember her as being the kind of girl to turn heads. Just average.

But she had on these red high heels. She’s got this short black skirt on that shows off her legs – and you know how I feel about legs! This dark blue shirt which, somehow, I dunno, the colors of the whole thing didn’t quite seem to match. But the mismatched combo also created this slutty aura about her.

Now, some guys like their women to look elegant and classy, refined, something like the wine glass such a lady would be holding. And I like classy, I do. I just like slutty more.

So you can imagine how happy I was to see her dressed for me. When she walks through the door I give her a big smile and a big hug right away, asking ‘Hey, how are you? Where’s Sebastian? You let yourself get out of his sights again?’

(P.S. Little Mermaid reference there)

Now I’ll walk you through the whole “seduction” with Charlotte, but first I need to tell you about Latte Man. Latte Man is this one particular guy whose behind the counter making drinks. I’ll tell you why I call him Latte Man in a minute.

I’m reading a book right now called ‘The Starbucks Experience’ about how to run a successful business, one that people love – but most importantly, one employees love. This book tells me that most Starbucks baristas love their job, and I think this guy Latte Man is no exception.

This guy is über-enthusiastic. He’s always crisp as he says ‘Coming right up sir!’ and he’s tossing around free drink cards like a secret weapon. I’ve gotten about five free drink cards from this guy so far. Is it Spiderman? No. Is it Superman? No. Look, there in the window, behind the high bar, it’s… it’s… Latte Man!

He’s my neighborhood superhero.

Thing is, like all great superheroes, he’s got a weakness. He comes across as a little nerdy. I don’t think Latte Man gets laid very often. I don’t think his success as Latte Man translates into success as Don Juan.

And since he’s given me five free drink cards… five!!!… I think I have to return Latte Man the favor. As I’m with Charlotte – who’s dressed like a pro in her mismatched colors and heels – I get an idea.

But this report is getting a little long, so I’ll have to come back to how fate crosses the paths of Charlotte and Latte Man another day and whether Charlotte’s inner freak lives up to the hype of her appearance.

Peace out!

Derek

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