There’s a huge tragedy in modern Western culture. It’s the tragedy of supplication. It’s like the Matrix: it’s everywhere, in everything. You become blind to it because you are so used to it bombarding your senses. Supplication is evident in what you see on TV. It’s there when you turn on the radio. Your parents teach it to you as a child, and your teachers grind it into your head in school.

And the worst thing about it is… most people never know. They have no idea that they are supplicating. They think they’re doing things the way everyone does them. And then they teach their children to be the same way. Thus, the cycle goes on.

Why is it that in today’s world men are depicted as weak whiners who make idiot mistakes and crawl to their girlfriends (wives) whoever espousing profuse apologies with gifts in tow? I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about this and breaking this down the reasons why this has happened, but in lieu of writing you my master thesis on supplication in modern Western society I’ll just give you a one-liner: men who supplicate supplicate because they have nothing else to offer.

That sounds harsh, and it is. Many of these men actually do have more to offer, it’s just that they don’t know it or they don’t actively offer it. Most men get trapped in the arms race: they try to offer value in terms of money and power. Money: showering their women with exquisite gifts. Power: apologizing, supplicating, letting the woman have the upper hand. The problem with this is, another man can come along who can offer even more and better gifts than that first man. The value he offers to women is interchangeable with the next man. A woman doesn’t love him for him. She loves him for the material things he provides.

And do you know what’s funny? Women don’t find this kind of behavior and mindset in men attractive at all. In fact, it’s an out-and-out turn off to most girls (even gold diggers aren’t actually turned on by it… they just want «things» and know those kinds of men can provide them). Men who behave this way will defend their behavior. They’ll tell you,

No, that’s the way it has to be done. Women want presents, and if you don’t give them presents and say you’re sorry whenever they get upset they’ll leave you. You just have to do it.

What does that sound like? It sounds like a statement from someone who is not in control of his relationship. He is controlled by his woman.

There is a term called «sexual dimorphism». This term refers to the difference in size between males and females of a species. In species where females are larger, such as in many spider and praying mantis species, the females are dominant and the males submissive. But in most species of animal, the males are larger and therefore play the dominant role. In humans, us guys are about 8.5% bigger in height on average than women. And in most of our societies, including Western culture up until about forty years ago or so, males were dominant and females submissive. Today in our culture that is less and less the case… and what we see is more and more angry, frustrated men and more and more disappointed, disillusioned women.

Not all men are submissive, though. There are men in society who lead; who go for what they want; take risks and go on adventures. These are the men who show up in women’s dreams. Not the men who buckle and give in. Women don’t dream about being with a man who will do the laundry for them and tell them he’s so sorry that he’s ten minutes late. They dream about being with a man who is strong and lives the life he wants, with whom they feel safe and whole because they are supporting him and being sheltered and cherished in turn.

All of this takes us back to non-supplication. Men who are successful with women absolutely, positively do not supplicate. They just don’t do it. The men that women lust for are not the ones who chase after them and «try» to get them. They are the ones who present themselves with poise, confidence, and a sense of centeredness. Men who know what they want — and take what they want.

Once you understand what culture is telling men and women, you can begin to ignore it and behave the way biology intends for you to act. Real men are not like:

• The bumbling guy on TV who always gets into some mess and has to apologize to his wife
• The guy on the radio who sings about how lost he is and how some girl could save him
• The guy parents and teachers tell children to be who asks considerately for everything (as opposed to taking it)
• The politically correct guy who doesn’t want to piss anyone off because that’s not very sensitive of him

I used to identify with these guys, honestly. And when I would hear someone come along and say something like I’m saying now, I wouldn’t even listen to it. What a headtrip.

Men who identify with these guys always, always, always feel desperate, hopeless, and unfulfilled. Then they get angry at women and the world for being so cruel. But it’s not the world that’s the problem. It’s them.

The movies can be a much better source of role models of men to follow. Real men are more like Will Smith, Bruce Willis, and Tom Cruise in pretty much every movie I’ve seen them in. I can’t think of a movie where they are whining, bumbling, crawling on the ground begging for forgiveness, crying that some girl needs to save them, or going out of their way to be painfully polite to everyone. Can you? If you want a funner example, think of how one of them interacts with one of those whiny, bumbling men. It’s with a degree of gentleness or even disdain, isn’t it? Because that other guy isn’t being a man.

Every man’s objective in terms of his place in the world should be to be like Will Smith or Bruce Willis or Tom Cruise. They are men who do what they want, and live life without apology. Men are the dominant members of the species. Be a leader, and others will follow you. No girl is going to save any man. I learned that lesson the hard way. Every man is responsible for his own path in life. Women don’t want a weak man they have to save. They want a strong man to take care of and shelter them.

When women do things to get men to supplicate, it’s because they have been conditioned by society to expect these things. Many women expect that men are going to supplicate. When you do not supplicate, it jars them a little bit. And then their biology begins to kick in… and instead of thinking,

I can get nice things from this guy, he’s nice

she starts to think,

Wow, there’s something about this guy… he’s hot.

Any time girls begin attempting to make you supplicate, instead of giving in, lead more strongly. This is the solution. Any time she asks you to supplicate, lead.

Examples:

Girl: Can you buy me a drink?
You: Maybe later if you’re good. So anyway, I just got into the place when…

Girl: I don’t want to do that.
You: Just do it and we can get out of here and go see that show.

Girl: Will you get me something when you go to the store?
You: I’ll think about it. (then don’t get her anything)

With answers like the above, say it with a very even, neutral tone. It should be said in a dismissive way, the same as if a child asked you to buy him a $500 iPhone: «I’ll think about it.»

Sometimes you can simply laugh at these comments from girls. Be careful with that, it’s actually a very powerful tool and can hurt her feelings if used at the wrong time or in the wrong situation. Obviously, you should still care about women and take care of them. I buy things for girls I see. It’s not frequent, and when I do buy things for them they value my gifts much more highly than more expensive gifts they’ve received in the past from previous boyfriends. You need to let them know that you care about them — you just don’t want them seeing you as someone who gives them value through his wallet and through supplication, rather than someone who gives them value through his strength and leadership and manliness and other things that are part of who you are, as opposed to what you have (that can be taken away or outdone by another man).

The best piece of advice, really, is to follow your gut. If you really, deep down, don’t feel good about doing something, then you should do something else instead. If a girl asks you to do a favor and your gut says, «I don’t want to do that,» then ignore that favor request and do something else with her instead. Lead her.

The opposite of supplication is leadership. If you lead strongly, requests for you to supplicate will grow fewer and fewer. The short-term fix for supplication requests is to ignore them or dismiss them; the long-term fix is to lead more strongly. Do that and you will be well on your way to liberation from supplication — doing only what you want to do, according to the way that you want to do it! You will be happier… and strangely enough, so will the women in your life. They won’t understand it, because it goes against everything that they’ve been taught, but it goes with everything that they really are. If you are looking out for their best interests, while also only living life the way that you want to live it, then on the inside they know they’ve found a great guy — and they will tell you so.

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