Don’t be a Weird Pick Up Guy
Posted by Talisman on 12/27/07 in Outer Game
Too many guys get into pick up, drop all their existing friends, and when you fast forward a year or so, they are just hanging out with fellow PUA dudes, they have no female friends and are a little weird. Don’t fall into that trap, use your new-found skills to build a social network. Adam Lyons, Master Trainer at PUATraining has the following advice.
Our social circle is one of the biggest determining factors in who we meet. Going back a bit, in a 1956 study 70% of married American couples lived within 20 blocks of each other before marriage. Now admittedly that was 1956 and this is now, but the basic principle holds true - you’re more likely to find success with someone closer to you than you are someone further way.
So, how do we use this to improve our chances? Simple - we expand our social circle!
- Network, Network, Network
The more people you know the larger your group standing. Ask people what they do for a living, ask for their business card or contact details as “you never know when you might come in handy” This is a really simple business close I have used on countless occasions; Including Head of Intel UK, Head of Communications of the Three phone network and Head of A+R Sony. As you can see these are all real people who have massive value and yet were more than happy to hand over a business card, with their mobile number on, all for potential business and networking.
- Organise a night out, invite all your friends, tell them to bring friends
Friends have friends who have friends, and so on. Organising a night out once every 3-4 months will really help you become more social and get used to leading the group dynamic, raising your profile, especially on the night you organise.
- Join a club. A sports club, a movie club, a dinner club, a sex club - whatever you fancy!
Meet people there, and invite them to your nights out. Again you are consistently building social proof, and increasing the number of people in your group dynamic.
- Don’t try and jump into an encounter or relationship with every attractive person you meet
Make friends and try to be a little more picky as your group increases, and you will probably find a whole bunch of people are into you naturally. Hold off from the ones you don’t want and look out for the one you do. If they turn up to a night you’ve organised you’re in a great position to hit it off with them!
- Put people in contact with each other
This is a key part, helping people has a big impact on social networks. Don’t give give give to people who only take, but putting people in contact with each other will help you stay the centre of all the interactions, and continue to raise you in all their eyes.
Building bridges like this is a incredibly good thing to do for your social life. The more people you know, the smaller your world gets, and you will regularly be bumping into people who know other people I know, and those people will have other friends in common who’s names I already know but who I have yet to meet in person. But I know I’ll be meeting them soon - and soon!
So, now it’s time to get busy with it! If you want further details on applying natural game to making friends, doing better at work, and generally being Mr El Populare, get the Home Study Course.
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