A problem that some guys run into during their conversations with women is that the vibe is too “tame”. There’s no edge, no sauciness, no spice. An easy way to add some spice is through sex talk.

There are different kinds of sex talk. There’s the kind used by the romancer, the smooth seducer… where sex is referred to
indirectly or almost poetically. Like

“It is something very special when a woman gives herself to a man.”

“I’ve had female friends who were very hurt by men in their lives ot being discrete, and it always saddens me.”

There’s the seemingly-harmless conversational variety, that isn’t directed at the girl’s sexuality specifically, but just lets her know that you think about sexual things and are comfortable talking about them:

“I don’t really care either way about breast implants, but I have a buddy who absolutely loves them. We were at the beach last weekend and…

“I remember when I was back in Catholic high school, I was always causing trouble for my religion teacher because he would be talking about how sex before marriage was bad and…”

Then there’s the racy kind used by the more direct or energetic guy; typically it’s playful, a bit crude, and replete with innuendoes (and always said with a smile-and-wink kind of attitude):

“I love watching you put that bottle in your mouth.”

“For some reason, I always end with naughty girls like you. I guess we fit together well.”

Finally, there’s the kind that’s used with barriers:

“If it wasn’t for all these people, I’d be tearing your clothes off right now.”

“If you got any closer to me, I don’t think I could resist getting all over you.”

Sexy texting is also fun. Once you’ve established sexual banter with a girl, it’s easy to text her something a bit scandalous - and it’s fun, too. It separates you from the guys who are trying to get her by hiding their intentions and acting meek.

Two rules if you are new to sex talk (or a bit rusty):

1. It must be absolutely natural. If you put too much weight on it, or say something that is awkward or too forward for the situation, it will come across as creepy. Sexual references should be made the same way any other references are… they aren’t a big deal, and are something you’re comfortable with.
2. You absolutely must calibrate to the girl. Some girls love salacious, bawdy NC-17 sex talk. Some girls cringe at the mere mention of sex. Before diving right into NC-17 land, gauge her reaction by dropping something in passing to see how she reacts. I like telling a story about when I went high up in a mountain and everything in my suitcase expanded. My shampoo blew out all over inside my bag, the air inside my condoms all puffed out and popped the lid off the case, and everyone had to get used to breathing harder up at 11,600 feet (3,500 meters). When I use this story, girls will always have one reaction or another when I mention the condoms (they will laugh or look excited, or else they will recoil a bit), so I can gauge - but I don’t dwell on it, I roll right past it and continue on with a more harmless part of the story, talking about adjusting to breathing at elevation. I just use it as a measure for how sexual I can get with her.

Calibrate to the girl and gauge her comfort level with sex before engaging in sex talk. As she handles the lighter stuff, move on to heavier elements to add another fun and interesting dimension to your conversations. Keep it natural, calibrate it to the girl, and
have a ton of fun!

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