The first step toward good body language is to move deliberately or move in a controlled fashion. Remove any unnecessary movements from your body language. Unnecessary movements come across as nervous ticks in a sense. Instead, you want to move in a measured and controlled fashion, slowly and deliberately with purpose. As for your eyes, you want to hold your gaze steady.

Moving in a controlled fashion projects an attitude of power and confidence that people pick up on without you having to say a word. This means no fidgeting, no playing with your hands, and no pacing. It means no shifty eyes, and no staring around a room like you’re on the hunt or as if you’re being watched. It means don’t cross and uncross your arms unnecessarily or tap your leg when you’re sitting. It means slowing down the stride in your walk.

I had this one friend who was perfectly relaxed when he hung around his friends in his house, but as soon as we would go out into a public place, like to a mall, his whole body would literally tense up. He’d cross his arms really tight up against his body and he would never stand still in one spot. He always had to pace. You could just feel his discomfort oozing off his skin, and it rubbed off on anyone who happened to be around him.

Not only that, he would look around the room, turning his entire head, looking this way and that way as if he was a deer or something on the lookout for a hunter with a big shotgun.

I even pointed out to him his fidgeting and tenseness, and what really surprised me was that he wasn’t even aware of it. In fact, he got defensive about his body language and wouldn’t believe me when I told him that he was giving off tense, nervous signals.

Now you may not be as body language challenged as him, but we all have situations where we become uncomfortable in - many of us in nightclubs for instance where there’s a lot of noise, bright lights, and we’re surrounded by strangers we don’t know - and we tend to look around the room with shifty eyes, turn our heads quickly, and pace around unnecessarily. I know that for me in particular, when a beautiful woman is near I tended to speed up and walk more quickly than I normally did.

In uncomfortable situations you want to fight your natural instinct to speed up, and instead slow down. Put everything into slow motion. Move deliberately. Move with control.

For more great tips on attracting women with only your body language, you’ll want to check out my Nonverbal Sexual Cuing Program. From your voice, to your body, to your eye contact, it has everything there you need to succeed with women on a physical level.

Until next time,
Derek Vitalio

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